Seeing Is Believing

Sight, like seeing? OK, let’s see...

I was born and when I was younger, I started seeing. And then, when I tried to read a book, I couldn’t really see a word. I realized I had lost my sight and then I started getting some sort of eyeglasses and reading glasses. And, then it helped me see what I was reading. Then I’d change glasses a lot. But sometimes when you wanna see more, then you could use contacts. And I used to wear contacts and I would use reading glasses with them. But they would get dust in them and I would stop using them because I didn’t like to have to wear them anymore.

When I would do some reading like with a magnifying glass to read the letters and I used to read words on the TV screen and then I used to work on the computer to make words when I was in high school. And that’s when I started getting big letters and words, that sort of thing. Then I would change out my glasses in general; some were regular some were bi-focal - just some different kinds of glasses.

Big prints and computers and that sort of thing is what I used to work on. I didn’t really stop working on computers, I have a Kindle now. But... the big old computers... when I stopped working on those, it was because I think... I was finished reading... I couldn’t read really anymore at all. It was when my retina got detached. It was this side... [John points to his eye. “Which side is that?”] That’s my left side.

Seeing for me in the light and dark might be different. If you’re in a room and your room is dark you turn on the lamp light because it’s hard to see. Sometimes I used to have my room in the daytime without the lamp light, but in the dark even, I don’t really need it more to see than before. I memorize where things are, so like if I’m going to bed, I know where to go, so it helps me not to bump into things. When the power goes out, it’s ok because I know where everything is. Seeing without electricity is very hard for most. I keep a flashlight nearby, just in case something moves and I don’t know it.

Colors? I know colors like blue, red, black, green, white and sometimes vehicles—like if they’re all red... If you tell me the difference between red and burgundy—it's hard to tell when you’ve got different shades. They are harder to decipher.

For 3-D movies, I put the [3-D] glasses on top of my glasses, but it’s tough because with the one good eye, the movie [just] looks like a movie. With the old yellow pair of 3-D glasses it’s harder to see the picture on the big screen. The newer black ones are a little better.

How does it make me feel with one eye? It’s difficult. It’s hard to read with one eye instead of two eyes. Emotionally, it kinda makes me somewhat happy and somewhat sad. Only seeing in the right eye and not the left eye. It made me sad in general.

My sight makes me feel different than everyone else. I wear larger than normal glasses—thick lenses. I wanna say it makes me sad -- [it’s ok to be sad, sometimes] -- OK, it makes me sad sometimes. It makes me sad because I can’t see very well, and I miss out on some things, that’s correct. But, I’m a happy person. And, I’m happy when I see different near and far. Sometimes I didn’t think I could see something far away but I can. And then close up when they’re near, it makes me happy when I am truly seeing what I think I see [and someone confirms]!

Things are gonna change. Some things get better, some things worse, but I wear my glasses.

John to Brandon: You’re not blind like me... You can see. But we see differently.

Now, some people are blind and can’t see at all and have to walk with a cane especially for sidewalks and stairs. I did walk with a cane for a little bit. I don’t have to do that anymore. I have people to help me out.

Sometimes when you can’t see, people make fun of you or something. To some degree there were people who made fun of me in school, but not all the time. Some people call you names like “four eyes.” When you wear glasses, they do make fun. They’re serious about it. More when I was younger; only in elementary school. But, at Morning Side they didn’t really do it much. And, in high school, not so many people did. I don’t have anyone making fun of me anymore. Hurt anyone for it? Nah... I want to but no, I don’t threaten them...

So, people out there who are... Well, I’ll say if they’re like me... or if they walk with canes or don’t walk with canes... just be careful. You shouldn’t be feeling any different. It’s ok to be different or not to be different. It’s ok to be who they are. And if someone is out there making fun of you, it’s ok, just be yourself, that’s what I do! And that’s all I can say.

~ John Joyner