Let's Get Cookin'!

Cooking in the kitchen with John. This isn’t the first time I’ve cooked.

I don’t really remember the first time I got to cook. I mainly watch people cook but not actually cook.

Maybe it’s because… I tend to burn donuts instead of regular food. This one time, the power went out and it came back on and I tried to set the timer/clock. But, Mom had put [Krispy Kreme] donuts in there and I didn’t know about them. I was just trying to fix the clock and instead hit start. They turned out Krispy Black, so it wasn’t that fresh.

In Middle School, we had Home Ec, but I don’t think she was a great teacher. Well, she wasn’t doing it right. We were trying to make popcorn on the stove [without a lid]. Mom came in and helped so we could have a lid without it popping everywhere [by using a wet dish towel]. Sometimes you need help.

You gotta prepare for cooking, know what you’re cooking and when; make sure everything’s all measured out. When you’re in the kitchen making things you have to go to that recipe if you want it to turn out right. You have to find the ingredients and figure out what kinda stuff you put in it for the food to taste good. Measuring is important because you have to know if you’re putting half a cup or a full cup. You have to know how to put just the right amount to make it better, make sure it tastes good. That’s correct. Nobody likes to eat bad food.

Real cooking [when John didn’t just watch], I used Mexican and Italian Cookbooks. It’s been a while since I had my own books, but those were the first ones I had. Sometimes I made spaghetti and sometimes pizza… Mexcian-wise we made Mexican rice and Mexican pizza. You can make all kinds of things. And I guess it’s the first time I really think I remember cooking.

But, I didn’t really know how to cook. So, now it’s my first time back in the kitchen. I get to pick out recipes. We found some cookbooks like The Simpsons, Linda McCartney’s and are looking for some more. That time, we made Fried Rice [Vegetarian Fried Rice, from Linda McCartney’s Family Kitchen Cookbook] and Brownies [Big Pile of Brownies, from The Unofficial Simpsons Cookbook].

This time we’re making Mac N’ Cheese [Baked Macaroni and Cheese, from Linda McCartney’s] and Dessert Eclairs [La Bombe Eclairs, from The Simpsons]. It’s the first time I’ve done it, but I like the blasting [pulsing] in the processor [John says through smiles while using a food processor]. There are many gadgets to make this easier: from the one-handed egg cracking tool to the finger guard and measuring spoons [thank you, Amazon].

When you cook, sometimes you get tired. Especially when you stir, your arm gets real tired, but you can change hands back and forth from left to right. If your hand gets tired, that’s ok so you can just switch. It’s important to drink water and to keep drinking a lot to stay hydrated too.

What food do I like to eat?

Meat. Steak’s my favorite and also Pork Chops; I like ‘em [pork chops] fried. I also like Fish and Chicken Fingers or Fried Chicken.

And Sides? Oh, well, Macaroni and Cheese, of course. And, Rice. Sometimes, Corn, I like it both ways, corn on the cob and off the cob. [Do you like any vegetables?] Vegetables… well, there’re so many of those. I only like them with other things pretty much, like Broccoli, Peas and Black-eyed Peas. But, I’m not much on the Okra. I like Cabbage too.

Food to make?

Sometimes fish, and chicken, if it’s fresh. I’ve never made steak before, but I think I’d like to try to make that.

My perfect meal would be Steak with Steak Sauce, Rice with Gravy and Green Broccoli with Butter. Cause butter makes everything taste better.

A little advice?

If you’re cooking for the first time, make sure you use the right ingredients, don’t put the wrong ones in. Make it proper if you want it to taste good. I was scared at first, but now, no! You get better the more you do it. So go get in the kitchen!

~ John Joyner

Play the Game

There are lots of different games. Like video games. Oh, and any kind of games, really. Like sports games. Like board games. Like playing games. Card games. That kinda thing. Oh yeah, there are so many. 

Well, you play games, not really by my[your]self. Sometimes I match the diamonds and hearts [suits] by myself. I play them with people, normally; I play them with my friends. I have lots of different games. 

I know there are a lot of board games, I just can't think of them. Monopoly is one board game that I like to play. [Did you know there are different types of Monopoly games?] There's only one I know. [There're different themes. Like Avengers or Nightmare Before Christmas or things like Candy...] Oh, now Candy Land, I do remember that one. I shoot over to O (?) 

The first game I remember playing was checkerboard, oh yeah... checkers. The black and red board. I don't know really who was there or where I was or even how old I was. I think it might have been Nana. It's been a while. 

There are lots of card games too. Card games, like UNO and SuperHero Friends and the dessert game [PopTarts] or Funko Wild Things... there are a couple of those [I have]. And the Disney games that we've been playing too-- Villainous and Small World and Funko. 

BlackJack is one of the [card] games. Oh, and Rum Fish. It has to do with playing cards. And you're quiet. Well, you don't show people your cards. You get 5 cards and you don't show anyone what your cards are. And you have to steal from the other team [players]. Like, if you have a 3 or a 2 or something, and you want to get another matching number, you ask whoever's playing-- you choose somebody-- and if they have the same number then you get that card and if they don't then you don't [get it]. If you get the match then you put them both down in your stack in front of you. But, if the other player doesn't have a 2 then that person says Rum Fish [Go Fish]. Y'all call it Go Fish, but I call it Rum Fish. Cause you hold them in your hand without showing them. But then you have to pick a card from the pool in front of you if they don't have it. 

Then there's the Black Cards and White Cards [Cards Against Humanity]. There are some you say out loud and some you say quietly. The black card, you read out loud and after you read it, you have to fill in the blank. The white ones you fill in the blank with. You read the black one first and then the white one second. You don't read everything out loud unless it's your turn. Then that person reads their Black Card out loud and then you read all the White Cards that fill in the blanks with those cards that people have selected. It's hard to choose a winner of what card is best. I choose the one that's the funniest. Some cards with longer words are hard when you're reading, but I have help from friends. And, I enjoy doing it. At the end you, count who has the most Black Cards and that person is the winner. 

The Captain America SuperHero Game [Super Hero Friends Card] game is one you have to pay attention to the numbers on the cards for powers. And the PopTarts game you get to match. Kinda like UNO but a little different. 

SuperMario Brothers, that was one for the TV. I enjoyed playing that one. I think I played some arcade games, but I'm not sure. Yeah! PacMan was another I used to play at the ice cream shop [Ye Old Fashioned Ice Cream Shoppe]. One game I know of but haven't really tried [but would like to] is I think maybe Galaga, but that's too 80's to remember. [I'm told we used to watch Dad play this one a lot.] I'm not too sure I can find one of those now, though. It's like playing SuperMario Brothers or PacMan and it might be harder to play with my hands [dexterity]. 

The most important thing about games is that they're fun. I like the challenge. And, sometimes I like to win. Games teach you how to read, can be relaxing, and help your brain see things you might not normally see. Games help you by learning and interacting. While some games are not so fun. Most games are lots of fun. 

If you've never played a game before, I'd recommend you maybe start with a card game. You can try to learn how on YouTube. Just do your best and try. Some games are easy, some games are hard. And, some games are fun just to play. You just have to find the right game for you! 

~ John Joyner

Let's A-Do the Twist!

Parents have the task of being parents from the birth of their children until they (the parents) pass away at a ripe old age. That’s the perfect order of things. The perfect order of things usually applies only to books and movies and imaginations. That being said – we must deal with the realities of everyday life as they occur. Those “realities” differ greatly with the age of our children.

The behavior of our children is foremost on our minds throughout their lives but it’s must important during their formative years. It is imperative during the early stages that we are responsible for the social education of children. I’m talking about the way they act in and around others when we are in public venues such as school, or theater, or church. We try to emphasize the need for stillness and quietness and attentiveness that society expects when attending those places.

While we parents are still learning all the nuances of public interaction, our children are paying attention to their own wants and desires and give little heed to what we are trying to teach them about those “nuances.”

Now that you are completely bored with what we who have children already know, let me tell you how the need for those perfect behaviors conflicted with our commitment to our choir on Sunday mornings.

Both Jeannie and I have sung in choir since we were in our mid-teens. That said, after our son John had graduated from the church nursery and was going to be attending “big” church, it was necessary to find a way to make sure that he had a place to sit where we could watch him during the services. He couldn’t stay in the choir loft for the lack of enough space for the singers much less a place for him to play while we were singing.

We finally decided that we would alternate Sundays sitting with John in the congregation so as to give him the needed example to show what was expected of him and how to behave when sitting there by himself at a later age. We approached our choir director with our decision. He was insistent that there must be another solution and made it his mission to convince us of that thought. The problem became known to others in the choir and resulted in the offer of the aid of the husband of one of the sopranos. She spoke to her husband and he agreed to be John’s “keeper” during the Sunday services. We were very happy and hopeful that this was the answer to our dilemma.

From the first Sunday after we allowed John to go with Mr. Tommy into the service without us, we were anxious to have the solution work for all of us. Luckily, all involved had had enough time up to this point to become friends. We were satisfied that Mr. Tommy could handle the situation without any problem. Our major concern dealt with the unknown factor – John. Each Sunday we paid more attention to the interaction between John and our friend than we did to the service.

Sunday after Sunday we watched as John settled in next to Mr. Tommy and went from wide awake to sleeping and snoring which would elicit chuckles from those around him until Tommy would give John a little poke in the ribs or shake his arm to rouse him from his slumber. (He hadn’t begun to appreciate preaching at that point.)

After service, we would collect John from Tommy’s care and try to admonish him for not realizing that his snoring might remind the pastor that his sermon might have had the same effect on some of the older parishioners. Tommy would jump to John’s defense and remind us that he was in good hands.

A few Sundays later, we were taken aback when we saw Tommy get up during the sermon and, with John in hand, leave the sanctuary. After service was over, we hurried to find them both to see what problem John had caused that led them to leave during the service. Tommy assured us that it was a simple trip to the restroom and we had no reason to fret. The explanation satisfied for the moment even though there seemed to be some secret that John and Mr. Tommy were sharing and keeping from John’s curious parents.

A number of Sundays passed before the same sort of incident reoccurred. This time, however, we were satisfied with the same explanation even though it was not offered. It became a real curiosity after several more weeks of the same event.

We were particularly interested when Tommy’s wife began to laugh when we expressed our concerns that we did not have all the facts. This became a dead give-a-way that there was much more to the story than we were being told. This time when we approached Mr. Tommy & John after church, it was obvious to Mr. Tommy that we were no longer satisfied with the previously stated reason for departing the service.

With a great deal of laughter, he imparted the truth to us... John had been used.

Mr. Tommy would pinch him on the leg, causing him to squirm, making it obvious to others that something was up. He would then lean over to John, whisper in his ear... and they would get up to leave the service. When pressed for the details of the whispered communication, we found out that John was being bribed to give Mr. Tommy a reason to depart.

It seems that all it took for John to become a willing participant was the offer of a hamburger, fries & Coke from the Burger King just a few blocks away. All of this so that Mr. Tommy wouldn’t be bored in church. John found great sport & joined the laughter when all of us knew then what had been going on.

The unfortunate upshot of all of this activity as relates to John’s younger brother, Brandon, was that he got to sit in church with John when he was old enough and they both behaved beautifully during the service. Brandon never received an offer of that kind of opportunity (aka “bribe”) for his good behavior.

Both John and Brandon learned and are still well-versed in how to behave. John does enjoy the telling of the tale and Brandon learned a few tricks from Mr. Tommy.

There are times now when I have to nudge John to wake him during service because he also sings in the choir; at least he’s closer now! (And sometimes he has to elbow me...) But, thank you, Lord, for a minister whose sermons are a pleasure to listen to