Tales From Camp Crystal Lake

When our son, John, was young, we were always seeking new adventures—especially outdoors—nothing like exercise and fresh air.

We had checked out interesting places around South Carolina because most of the time we only had weekends for our “get-a-ways.” In searching, I discovered an area for camping around the Clarks Hill Recreation area and we decided that it would be a new experience for us, and it looked like it would be fun.

Notice that I said it “looked like” it would be fun.

Because we had never camped before, we had no camping supplies at all, so we borrowed what we needed from friends. Just the basics—a tent that would sleep three of us and a Boy Scout cooking kit. We packed our bikes, a small hibachi, cooking supplies, a few groceries, and plenty of blankets (or so I thought).

Sounds like we were going to have a wonderful weekend, right? Not even!

We hopped in the car and headed out. A few hours later we drove into the camping area and I started looking around trying to locate our site. Spotting it, we pulled our car into the parking slot.

Oh my! What have I gotten us into, I thought? All the campsites were on different levels and they all dropped off at the edges.

Small problem: Our son, John, is legally blind, and he couldn't see where the site dropped off.

We had to set up our bikes around the area like a fence so he wouldn't fall off. Besides that, all the campsite beds were made up of rock. Oh, Happy Day! Try walking on that. No bare feet here.

We unloaded the car and set up the tent as best we could. Now what?

We just sat there in the tent, on the rocks (ouch), with a few blankets spread out on the ground. Remember, I said we had borrowed the tent? That's right folks no sleeping bags or cots (bare bones)!

Do you know how many blankets one would have to spread out on the ground over the rocks to sleep comfortably? Neither do I 'cause we never reached that number.

Deciding that there must be something to entertain us here, we explored and found a beautiful lake. Bathing suits on, we decided that swimming could entertain us for an hour or two.

Relaxing right? Think again! (“Thinking” never came into play for any of this trip.)...

After being in the water for only a few minutes, we noticed that our bathing suits were turning color—red! You guys know what red means? Clay, red clay!

John was not happy, so we hopped out of the water and headed back to the bath area to shower and change. Ah, the luxury of public toilets and shower areas. They don't smell quite as fresh as they do at home, do they?

Makes you wanna go camping now, doesn't it? People with campers be thankful. Tent campers—you people have to be crazy.

Nightfall. Bored, sitting in the tent (no chairs), on top of a few blankets on top of the rocks. We ended up at the recreation area with the game room—where all the teenagers were hanging out!

We sat there watching the kids playing games until the area closed at 10 PM. We are night owls, so to us, the night was still young. We headed back to our campsite and tossed and turned all night long. And it was a long night.

Sunrise!!! Yay! We got dressed—ready for the great outdoors; at least we had sunshine and fresh air. Riding bikes, hiking, talking.

I had carried canned goods so that I could just heat up food for us. Easy, huh?

I got out the supplies and put the food together. I placed it on the hibachi to heat. So far, so good. The hibachi was sitting on top of the picnic table—obviously too close to the edge—when someone bumped the table. Everything slid off the hibachi, off the table, and down the hill. I just sat there on the bench observing the food in the pot at the bottom of the hill.

Me? Walk down the hill to collect it? Never happen!

It could stay there till “h-E-double hockey sticks” froze over for all I cared.

I just SAT there!

David looked at me. I looked back and just sat there. David continued looking at me—not saying a word.

I just sat there.

Finally, he said, “let me get that for you.”

And he climbed down the hill, collected the pot, came back up the hill, started to say something to me. And, I burst into tears.

I just sat there.

“I am going home,” I said, “Right now! Not staying one more minute.”

So, I didn't sit there any longer.

I jumped up, started tearing everything apart, and packed up. I threw everything in the car as fast as I could. I just wanted out of that campground. I knew everyone in the campground had seen what was happening and were probably getting a good laugh.

David was not going to let the weekend end like that. He knew I wasn't happy, and he was going to change that.

So, heading toward Charleston, he found a motel with a pool (sparkling clear water, no red swimsuits), a bed (comfy with no rocks), air conditioning (now I could sleep), a hairdryer (no towel drying my hair), a TV (for entertainment), a bathtub (Calgon take me away), a toilet (this bathroom actually smelled good).

Oh yes, don't forget the ice for cold drinks!

And, he took us out for a nice dinner, that I did not cook, and it stayed on top of the table.

So, ladies and gents, what seemed like it would have been a great weekend for us, turned into a very stressful one. But my sweet husband took an unpleasant situation, salvaged it, and we all went home happy!

Camping? Never again!

We don't even talk about it..

~ Jeannie Joyner